Monday, October 29, 2007

s.o.s from the cats



to whom it may concern (help!):

It all started last january with the intrusion of what we thought to be a six pound hairless cat. This creature, not unlike ourselves, slept the day away and frequently soiled itself. Although we found it's strange ways somewhat irritating, we weren't severely affected by its encroachment upon our territory.

With the passing of six months time, the strange "feline" had proved to be something simply pretending to be a cat. In my field journal, i noted it's daily changes and observed its shift from stagnancy to a spastic/slapping crawl. This mobility was no doubt alarming, however it was still clear that both Hannah and I could outpace this specimen. From our lookout posts on the couch, we watched it carefully, constantly hypothesizing about the monster we faced.

Recently things have taken a turn for the worse and now we are almost certain that the bald one is not one of us. The creature relentlessly tracks and follows us and we have a sneaking suspicion that it was sent in to monitor us and collect information.

The specimen learns quickly and is brutally clever; it is now capable of standing on two hind legs, which severely compromises our position. Not only does it hide its identity with santa suits, but it has a severe gambling addiction, playing poker until the sun comes up.

The most terrifying thing of all however, is that while the creature tracks us, it undulates in a strange language, repeating the same haunting phrase over and over:

ABA-ABA-ABA-ABA.

We are still not quite sure what this could mean, but we speculate that it is a warning of sorts: a horrifying glance into an imminent danger.

I fear that we are no longer safe....

over and out,

the cats

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