dear diary,
i haven't been able to write for awhile because unfortunately, my mom blocked access to my computer usage. lame. she thought i was "abusing" my technological privileges.
anyway, i feel more and more like a man everyday. although i still have the embarrassing bald spot on the back of my head, i am getting alot of fuzzy growth on top, which i plan to braid or dye the minute no one is watching. i also have some "fringe" at my neck line which has been popular with the ladies.
things are going pretty smooth with the units, although they still have me on the liquid diet. this is strange considering they have definitely moved onto solids. i see them eating pork chops and flank steak, and i'm like, "yo! can i get a piece of that?!". they never seem to hear me or care about what i really want, cause the minute i start yelling for the meat, it's boobie city or bust.
they finally took me on a vacation--things had been pretty stressful for me and it took them forever to pick up on my cues, but they eventually decided on a long weekend at the ocean. i was ready for some solo time on the beach: just me, some tanning oil and a trashy mag. they had other ideas, however, and carried me around the entire time, dressing me in diapers and a disturbingly large corduroy sunhat. all i wanted was some time to relax: a little poker at night with the guys, some crab and my own warm spot in the sand.....
things are looking pretty good for the next few months. my aunt bits finally married the guy who is going to teach me how to throw a good horseshoe and juggle fire, and i think i might also get the opportunity to roll around naked in the yard.
personal goals for the next month:
--start wearing regular shirts (what the hell is up with those
bodysuit outfits, anyway?)
--persuade the units to feed me bacon or other kind of meat
--learn how to use stereo in order to play own music
--watch cats closely and learn escape method through basement
--meet other 5 month olds to discuss challenges of being young and bald
--take road trip to canada
peace, love & diapers,
indy.
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